The second the bass drum kicks, I'm taken back to a soul conditioning time of my life. The settings are just as I remember 7 years ago. It was raining that night too; playing the background track while I went through my Atmosphere catalog on my laptop. Back then, I was hanging outside in old gazebo where I spent late nights linking every sentence from this song to my current situation. 7 years ago I was learning a lesson for my lifetime. Learning about what love wasn't. Spending unnecessary hours in my head, thinking of different scenarios where I went wrong and what I did that pushed her away. Mistaking a small fling for true love. Naive to think I could get her back but the truth was the harder I tried, the worst it got. Thinking I had found everything when I was completely in the dark and further from the reality.
It's horrible what we put ourselves through when most of the time it's out of our hands. I was blaming myself as if I was the one who did something to steer her away. These toxic relationships we decide to put up with leave stains in our soul and now it's forever linking to one song.
"But there's good and evil in each individual fire..."
I like to think back on these times. Makes me appreciate how far I've come and aware of my wrong train of thought. Defining moments that chizled into my soul about the darkness I had gone through. Making me the person I am today. I'll never regret any experience I've faced because there was a reason for it. So I'll listen to this song one more time before I put you back in my catalog until next time.
"And for as long as I breath, I'll save a seat in my memory for that woman with the tattooed hand.."